Date: May 18th 2009

So yesterday I started my car up, sitting in my driveway at night, just looking up where Im going on my Iphone, and all of a sudden my car throws a rod. Now, its an 07. but as I'm sitting there, it starts lurching side to side like cars do, right before parts of your transmission litter the road behind you.
Im like, "fuuuuckk."

Then one of my neighbors totally rear ends my car. I hear a huge bang, my car jolts from the impact, and Im like "oh come ON!!"

I look behind me to see my neighbors car... only theres nothing there.

Jenny comes running out of the house, wondering why I drove my car into the side of the house and caused the whole place to shudder.

Only, me and my car are no where near the house.

It was right about then that "earthquake" dawned on both of us.

And then my friend forwards me the best earthquake text yet.
its from www.textsfromlastnight.com:
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(949): either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
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The site has a bunch more- like
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(404): I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
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I'm peppering my email here with a bunch of the random text messages from that site. You know, just for fun.

As for me djing, I have two down home shows that I'm really excited about this month. I've switched over to Ableton live, and I'm loving how djing from a laptop really allows for a much more layered sound.

I promise both events will get your ass shaking like last nights earthquake:

Sunday May 24th- Marchfourth marching band with Dj Wolfie
at the smashlabs! downtown LA, 10 bucks.

and

Saturday May 30th, Shade at Will Rogers Beach.
12 noon til after dark- Free!!

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(563): My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
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(512): i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
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SMASHLABS presents:
MARCHFOURTH MARCHING BAND
with Dj Wolfie and SaQi
Sunday, may 24th
10pm - late
1714 Albion st
10$ with password “CRUNCHY”
MarchFourth is a date, a command, and a band.
Imagine Duke Ellington meets Sgt. Pepper in an international big-top Fantasia
evoking a familial community reminiscent of the Grateful Dead.
Dj Wolfie rocks out with a unique blend of breaks and ass shaking grooves.
Fresh from his appearance at Coachella Music Festival he’ll be dropping
original tunes as well as live compositions.
For more information:

www.marchfourthmarchingband.com

www.djwolfie.com
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(212): btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
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SHADE- A LOST BEACH PARTY
Saturday, March 30th,
noon to 10 pm

Noon to 2p.m. - Faith (the newest girl of Shade!)
2 - 3:15 - Mike Insane (Ninjaskillz)
3:15 to 4:30 - Erik Nelson
4:30 to 5:45 - Diva vs. Zabala (Shade vs. Ninjaskillz!)
5:45 - 6:45 - Mikey V from Hawt Music
6:45 - 8:15 SUNSET SLOT - CODY LEE VS. PORTER TINSLEY (Spundae vs. Shade!)
The Shade After-Dark set: 8:15 to close: DJ Wolfie (Djwolfie.com)

To get an idea of the fun music you'll hear, check out
WOLFIE'S SHADE PODCAST:
WWW.SHADEPARTIES.COM

THIS IS A LEAVE NO TRACE EVENT.

ALL L.A. CITY AND COUNTY BEACH LAWS ARE IN EFFECT: NO ALCOHOL, ETC. The site for beach rules is here: http://beaches.co.la.ca.us/BandH/Beaches/WillRogers.htm
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(770): cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
(1-770): i said paris hilton
(770): thats even worse
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My Friend Karen Karnaky has some summer specials on
your hair removal needs, waxing, and "manscaping"...
Summer sale till the end of the month.
$40 brazillians
$15 off  any type of facial
10% off  all Seaflora Organics, my private label, Nippies and Fake Bake tanning products
Hope this message finds you well.
Miss Karen
www.misskaren.com
818-749-2102
misskarenk@gmail.com
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(412): Dude, you need to talk to your mom
(724): wtf?
(412): She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
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(858): You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown.
And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
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